Friday, May 18, 2007


We're nearing closing time on our new home. Very exciting times. Or irritating. Currently I reside in this apartment complex off the highway. There's something not quite natural about living in an apartment. We're the apartment people, congested together in boxes carved out of stone. What is the general impression of a man in his thirties living in an apartment? I don't think it's too positive. It stigmatizes you as one of the following: 1) Divorced dad 2) creepy unemployed guy 3) single, slightly balding guy who works in a cubicle. I miss having a yard. Going into a different room if I feel like it. Turning the volume up real loud. Not hearing moans and bed springs squeaking through thin walls. I hate the mail room. My little number crammed into a metallic slot. I hate the elevator. Waiting. Making small talk on the way up. "Have a good one", everyone always wants to say to you as they get off. Yeah, you too. And laundry rooms. Just think about public laundry rooms for a second. A concept that involves throwing your clothes into a washer that some stranger just got done expunging their dirty underwear and semen stained sheets in. I try not to think about it. Use extra soap. Anyway, it will all be over soon. My apartment days numbered. It oughn't to be so stigmatized though. In Europe most people rent. But our American perspective demands "home ownership" as proof of your ascendancy to respectability. I guess I'll be falling into line. Just don't expect me to be buying an SUV anytime soon.

No comments: