My main interest is in the doctors who are contracted to carry out these ghoulish deeds. By physician assisted, I think what everyone has in mind is some sort of benign, humane, minimally invasive practitioner of life sapping. You lie on a table. Calming eastern mystic yoga music plays softly in the background. The room smells of lilac and aloe. A soothing voice whispers in your ear, "it's going to be alright, peace and love await you". And then a white robed man with a Francis of Assisian face of compassion slowly injects painless sedatives until you pass out and then the final killing agent is administered while you are in a state of blanked nothingness.
In general, this would be a job right up the ally of a motivated, profit-oriented anesthesiologist who has become disillusioned with clinical practice. Pumping people full of mind altering, physiology warping drugs is what they do for a living.
But I was wondering how other professions could break into the market. A general surgeon would not seem to be such a natural fit. At least not when it comes to death by drug. A general surgeon looking to make a few bucks on weekends killing people would have to offer a menu of alternatives along the following lines:
- The Big Red---Thoracotomy performed after induction of general anesthesia. Aorta identified and sliced transversely. Included in offer are free disposal of exsanguinated blood and chest closure
- The Double Tap--- Bilateral neck incisions made (either under local or general anesthesia, depending on patient financial situation), both carotid arteries dissected out and tied off. Included is immediate EEG and consult from certified neurologist to confirm brain death
- The Gateway----- Portal vein opened up after transecting the bile duct and hepatic artery. Blood can either be suctioned off field or left inside abdomen.
- The Strangler----- Incision made as for tracheostomy. Instead of tracheostomy, surgeon occludes trachea with fingers until death ensues. Wound closed with absorbable suture in skin lines; lovely cosmetic result guaranteed for open casket viewing.